Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Beyond infatuation

Beyond infatuation
This is where love begins
Or where it ends

You build or break
You learn to give and take
Beyond the hurt, there is no mistake

Grow together, or grow apart
Yet grow we must
Do you trust?
Me

I trust you
I trust us
Where we are
Is where we’re meant to be

This is where we see
Who we truly be
What’s really there

I know that I care
Enough to let you be
To see you fly free

Yet I wonder what’s possible
In possibility

In creation and manifestation
Beyond the space where we let go
Of our preconceived ideas
Of what we thought we would see

For the first time I felt heard
And I was actually able to listen

I have no idea what the future holds
And somehow, I am completely at peace
in wonder with what comes next

Time to create a new context
All that’s left is love

Sunday, February 28, 2016

sometimes friend

I mourned for you today.
Another thing you’ll never know.
Today I let you go.
So much possible,
crumbled by expectation
walls put up
things left unsaid
you say I push
I push into the wall you don’t speak.
you think it’s unnoticed
you think I don’t see
it screams in your silence
it drives me insane
taken for granted
an unbalanced union
my responsibility
and the reason I must walk the other way
that’s what has me sad
I did that today
I do miss you
I will miss you
perhaps when a heart breaks
it can break open
by letting go
there’s room to let more in

more than a sometimes friend

Monday, December 29, 2014

What If?

What if
what if everything I think I know
isn’t true at all?
could I begin to love?
would I allow myself to fall?
I see our future in your eyes
and wonder if you see the same
I’ve said I love you
do you know it’s true?
and is it true for you?
Can dreams be real?
Will we heal?
I yearn for us
I long to trust
to feel your heart 
beat with mine
to have our fingers 
intertwine
grow together,
pull us into more
yet I see me stumble
I watch me run
do you want me
is there room for more?
shall we forever be a fantasy
can I breathe?
can I be calm in the face of it all?

what if?
we were stronger together.
love meant leaping
and trusting
it's all going 
just the way it's meant to be
can I trust you?
do I trust me?
what if?
what's possible
If nothing I ever believed 
were true.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Lies We Tell

The lies we tell
are mostly to ourselves
though they’re often so small
they don’t seem to be a lie at all
Are you the one?
Is this what I want?
Can I be, 
The person that YOU see?
I want us to work
perhaps I’m just a jerk
Perhaps I just don’t know
let’s see how it goes
but wait,
no no
whoa
you’re not who I loved at all
Not who we said we would be
now who is the you I see?
when did I begin
to wake up with a stranger?
to not foresee a future?
when did our paths begin to vary?
my heart grows ever wary
I fear I loved an apparition
a myth we once told
now what does the future hold?
can we continue in these conditions?
once we’re past infatuation
the pleasing of another
are we growing?
or do we smother?
do we truly love each other?
perhaps love means letting go.
knowing our hearts a little more
opening the door 
finding what we’re each yearning for
because I love you:
the you you truly are
not the one you hold yourself to be
the one who’s just to please me
Because I see the you that you’ve become
and the me that’s now here
thank you for helping me to grow
it’s time for us to go

Friday, November 28, 2014

Here for more

just around the corner
over there
around the bend
on the fringes of imagination
it’s where satisfaction seems to begin
I’m so restless 
I wander as I wonder
can this be?
The thing that satisfies?
This life:
it’s so mundane
a bit of a bore
aren’t we all here 
for something more?
Something made to last?
to endure?
a legacy, a contribution?
something that ends the violence, the pollution?
isn’t it up to each of us?
But where to start?
How can I listen to my heart?
when society pulls.
The dollar rules.
How do we know which way to go
Where do we start?
Something feels off kilter,
it’s just not right:
yet where to go? 
where to turn?
so I sit:
paralyzed
as I yearn.
I want to learn
to heal.
to feel free
to love 
Can’t you feel it?
That pull
the reverie?
the twitch of the foot
the flutter in your belly
the thought that just can’t be grasped
the one that says:
this isn’t it.
Run, get out the door
this life:
it was made for something extraordinary.
You’re here for something
you just can’t see it
keep believing
keep seeking
it’s on it’s way
don’t give up
it’s just around that bend
that’s where you’ll find peace
your souls purpose
the reason for your being
is there more out there?
a reason to care?
I yearn for something.
I know there’s more
can’t quite put my finger on it
though I feel it
do you know it too?
something that pulls
something that whispers softly to you
telling you:
there’s more this life was meant for
Keep dreaming
keep seeking
you’re here to contribute to this world
here to cause:
peace, love, affinity.
Starting with today


Monday, August 11, 2014

enough?

will it ever be me?
will I get to be the one you choose
the one who lights up your room?
am I destined to be
the one you just don’t see
the friend
you don’t want to lose
but aren’t willing to love
never enough
second best
lust is great
but love just can’t be
it’s just not meant for me
I’m told:
you’re beautiful
amazing
still I just don’t want you
all you are
it’s not enough
let’s be friends
perhaps a fuck
but more?
not you, you’re merely a plaything
you’ll never be the one 

not enough for anyone

Monday, July 14, 2014

askewed view do I truly love you?

Do we truly Love
or is it just a fantasy?
an Ideal
that doesn’t match reality
and we get frustrated
we fight
we hurt
we cry
we want the you over there
to match who made up in here
does that person exist?
can we love them as they are
and as they aren’t?
can we see them big enough
to pull them into more
do they become our chore?
do they want to be the person that we see?
do we really love them
just as they be
or is the person we say we love
a desired apparition
that we chase
an expectation
unfulfilled
a lust our ego created
a lost we’ll never know
something we must let go

Do we really love people in reality?
or are we caught up
in our ego’s illusion?
the view that blinds who we see
when they don’t match our image
who we created them to be
the person in our minds
our visions
our desires
our thoughts
our delusion
that leads to disillusion
pain
frustration
hurt
the love lost
and a question
was that love ever really there?

and perhaps we can let go
thank them for allowing us to grow
let them be
love them be
tell our ego no
fulfill on possibility
be true to love
let go of the have to
the must
the fix
the change
truly begin to trust
build together
create again
be a friend
learn to love ourself
letting go of what’s not so
letting go of ego
perfectly loving
imperfect people
in every new moment
discovering again
who’s over there?
and do I care?
does it matter from my view
as it’s nothing to do
with loving you

Caught up in fantasies
that aren’t really there
tearing through
the desires we know
the illusions we harbor
the apetite unmet
the unfilled order
the molding of another
the wanting
with no road
no map
it’s certainly a trap
one our ego lays
and tells us is love
fools us in to believing
something so deceiving
I want you to be for me
not for you
change
now and forever
yet you’ll never know
who I need for you to be
for it’s not truly love
yet this we cannot see
we bumble about
more screams
more shouts
a twinkle here
a glimmer there
so we just hold on
and hope
today you will be
the person I need for me
not who you truly are
not who you could be
for this love
is to feed me
my desires
my wants
my needs
this love is an illusion
filled with disillusion
colored by me
not reality
so was this love
ever really truly love at all

when love is lost
are we sad for who’s gone?
or are we mad for being wrong?
please be the you I made up
the you that makes me right
please don’t be who you truly are
for that’s too much for me
I’m left to question
my view
what’s true
where else could I be wrong
where else must I let go?
I’m scared:
don’t you know?
can’t you understand
be the one I made you out to be
please oh please
live up to the you I’ve deluded you to be

Saturday, June 21, 2014

What's in a degree?

As the debate drags on about further education, I find myself beyond frustrated. We base these metrics on a level of "normal" that I'm here to inform you, not all children have. How do I know this? I was one of those children. Yes, the determination one finds, the grit one shows, the self knowledge, and the learning, I'm sure is astounding. Yet it's one check mark from one limited view point proving...what exactly? I created an escape plan for myself at age 9 (determination, and ingenuity). I turned my birth father in for abusing me 3 times before I was removed from my home at age 16, and it nearly cost me my life: he bruised my jaw bone with his bare hands, among other atrocities that are irrelevant to my point. I wonder how can one say: weekly court appointments, as well as living in a foster home, being removed from school for countless court obligations, you're saying this doesn't cover as much if not more, than partying it up in a dorm somewhere? I've created my own role models throughout my life, and yes, in case you're wondering: my mom and I get along just fine...now: then, not so much. I was on my own at 17, getting out, surviving: that was my long term goal. College? A pipe dream, who exactly would I turn to for a loan? When the decision is roof over your head, or debt, one chooses a roof. 60% of foster children end up homeless, 20% incarcerated. Are we stupid? Not by a long shot, we survived terrors I do hope none of you ever know. I was on the academic decathlon team, (I had to drop out as I was in court) on the honor role (I did this creating 2 versions of my homework, the one my father wanted...and the one the professor requested) when I've got the money for classes, I make the deans list. Perhaps it's time we begin to ask realistic questions regarding employablity/capability. I understand that having a degree proves a certain level of accomplishment: perhaps it's time to expand our views, and take on: there's other ways life offers that prove as much (if not more) than "I've got a degree" ever could. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

For packing light....I'm sure collecting a LOT of baggage...

And today, I'm determined to add some more! Murano gorgeous glass, check. Venetian gorgeous mask, tba (to be acquired) first, lunch. For an eating country, they have some odd rules, and it's best you're aware of them, or you'll be caught in the "no food for you" zone, roughly 3-7 as I can figure it. Granted if you've already sat, and you're still eating course number 1,500 it's all good, just don't expect to be able to sit yourself down and get anything beyond a pastry come 3, and no they really don't care if you were on a flight and unfed. Apparently, the FAA needs to abide by the schedule of the server. Knowing this, and having a grump ass pain our first day in Venice, (I asked for bread dude, BREAD, a damn inmate gets that! Ass) anywho, as we slept in after our adventures in traindom today, we decided eating prior to heading to venice and potentially being caught in no foods for you vill, was a muy bueno idea. Drat, too friggin bad this was the first day we did this!! Restaurant was YUM yumyum. Brought out crispy crunchy warm bread, a soft yogurty white cheese, and salami...and that was just the "on the house" starter! We had a bottle of proseco (as did every table that came in after us, don't judge, as they say: when in Rome!! So I say, I'm being polite thank you very much, and doing as the Italians do!) mom had a fungi spaghetti, and I had (off menu!) cabonara, after he checked to see if he had any ham delivered. Oh em frigging gee!!!  It was so fresh, the spagetti had a golden yellow hue,creamy and chunks of ham with a touch of crunch. 

Excuse the pause, I needed a moment to relive the glory of the yumminess. Frick. Bummer we're leaving today. But so so happy to have found you!!! Grab our bags and get into Venice. All the large train stations have a bag check. Smaller ones have lockers....ain't no way our stuff would fit in a locker, but just as an FYI for those who may be Italy bound! Bags safely off my shoulders (yay!) and we're off to buy masks. A word of caution....the cheap street kiosks, are likely mass produced in the same stupid place america exploits (cough China) do yourself, Italy, and child labour a favor, buy elsewhere. Now I'm not saying you must spend a fortune..and believe me, you surely can! However, it's very easy to find a shop where the masks are being painted while you're looking...and they were GORGEOUS!!! On a handle, or not. Made with: feathers, some from wire so delicate it looks like lace. Glitter, crystals, painted paper mache. Each one a piece of wearable art. We wound up with two boxes worth...and were still oogoling after our limoncello break by the canal. The shop keeper was teasing us, saying come back, come in, he had bigger boxes to fill for us. So, now with 2 boxes to add to the ever growing collection of pretty things, we head back to the station, and off to Florence! This time we have assigned seats, air-conditioning and: a bathroom. Florence= mumsie (the art major) dream city. The seat of the birth of the renaissance.
" Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins
"Our lives improve only when we take chances ... and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." -- Walter Anderson
"Adventure can be an end in itself. Self-discovery is the secret ingredient that fuels daring." -Grace Lichtenstein
 “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~ Andre Gide

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Venice dia dua

Call me the water bus queen! Got an all day pass, and yes,we put that baby to use! First and likely only time I'll ever see: a boat ambulance or a stop light on a waterway, awesome. Venice has a graveyard that is about the equivalent of San Francisco's Colma, beautifully kept grounds, famous deceased, all walled in on its own island. We went Murano glass shopping today. Yes, I did. Spent a whole afternoon shopping, and actually had fun doing it...so weird. I tell ya, that dormant girly gene is out in full force... I best beware where I travel...somebody warn me if I'm headed to the land of lots of kiddos...no waking that sleeper please...oyi... Though I do hope (and believe) the kiddo place would have a repellent effect...don't know if I wasn't lost enough or a bit too lost, however, though there was a ton of gorgeous glass pieces, the galleries near San Marco's, well (in my opinion, they win) had I known how or where to find the person who made the devil chandelier....yeah, never mind, likely a very good thing I stayed lost. For the inquiring, please note, mucho eruo was spento. We filled an entire hedgehog purse (more on him later) with pretty little glass things -I swear I'm turning into Eddie! (AbFab reference, watch it love it embrace it) got back to the main section of Venice and caught the 1 vaporetto (water bus) and took a tour of the grand canal (technically was just a bus ride...but if ya know what you're looking for {get a walking tour map} very cheap, easy way to get yer culture on!) had a (relative to european terms) earlyish din din. Super cute little cafe outside deck over the grand canal. (I'm on a mission to find the best cabonara in zee land! And if you've ever been to Italy, please tell me your fav!!) We were getting ready to go, and as I was on my way to the ladies room, what do I spy? A man with a hedgehog (purse) in his hand. I convince him (or ya know, perhaps my boobs persuaded him) to let me show it to my mom...(back story here: mumsicle collects hedgies, don't ask why or where this came from, as I have 0 clue. Anyway, thankfully it's a rarely found critter, doesn't cost me as much, glad she's not into cows or some such thing!...so though I personally wouldn't be caught with this silly ass critter, I brought it to my mom) she loved it! I had a procession behind me, as apparently it was a prototype for the winter collection...I swear if this is the new hot item of fall...I'm gonna need some grapa. Happy birthdays to mumsie, she is now the happy proud owner of "hedgie the purse." we head to the train station, frickola, just missed the 10:15pm, 3 more leaving before we're stuck till 6am, still, we checked the bus options as the next train is in +45 from now...too late, they're done hon. Ahem, always always check the digital posts...not sure if 2 of the 3 trains were no shows or on a platform other than what was written on the paper schedule. It's now past midnight, and though the paper schedule states "bus transfer" the train that's about to pull out, has the same destination, so dragging mom behind me, we dash for the closing doors....she wanted to read the whole damn listing, and was insisting this was a bus transfer...um, 2 trains on this stupid thing failed us, it's this or 6am on a bench...argue later: train, NOW! Barely make it through the door, mumsie still grumbling under her breath, both of us getting bleary eye tired, but on the train, headed home (we friggin hope!) So as I'm peering through the darkness at stops that I really don't recall from the prior trips (2 into and this is our 2nd back) I'm doing the "what ifs" in my head: okay, so if we get to the end of the line, and our stop isn't on here, if it's past 4am, might as well sleep on the stupid bench, unless getting back to the hotel via cab (damn i miss magic taxi) is less than €80. If it's 3:30amish, and the cab is +€80, hotel room and train in the am it is...Clearly after 1:30am, we're on a wrong train...shit be our stop, please crap be us...now I'm up, looking out the doors. Nope, and no I don't recall this on the prior trips. Frick frick frick. Sigh of relief, OUR stop!!! And for being such a middle of no where place, sure is a popular station for the last train of the evening...and shit, no cab...now what? Oh thank you kindness of strangers! A guy who was on the train, calls a cab (to no avail) however, the coffee shop/bar/restaurant across the way, though closed, still has employees hanging out. And I had a bira here earlier today, the server, used to work at McCormick's in SF! (sky opening, angels singing..and both mumsie and I peeing!) [me also drinking a celebratory Moretti bira!] long friggin day. Gorgeous, great fun...least now that we're back in the hotel! Oyi vey, time to hit the hay!!!
Quotes:
“I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are.” ~ Diane von Furstenberg

I have found my shopping gene..

It lives in Italy. Apparently every woman does actually have one, who knew? Needless to say. I heart Venice. It's difficult to remember, this is actually a mainland. I feel less like an outsider here, no one stares me down because my leg is showing. I've heard more American English than I have in a month and a half...not sure what to do with myself. The place is amazingly beautiful, and the statues here, all reside in their original settings (the buildings they were built into) not in a museum. And they're complete, not missing a head, arm or nose (for the most part) the buildings are around 5- 10 stories, so walking around is like navigating a maze (much like Mykonos) though here, you dead end into water, there are 177 canals (yes, I looked it up). Venetian masks are everywhere, and they're amazing, gorgeous, beautiful, add the adjective of your choosing, it still will pale in comparison to walking through Venice. Prices range from €5.00 to €1,100. Feathers, lace, leather, crystals..beautiful, and the merchants proudly display "made in Venetia, NOT China" And the glass pieces! We're not even to the island of Morano yet, and they take your breath away. From a chandelier that had devils and fire, to earrings and animals, to giant paint brushes. Another art piece is made of painted wooden eggs that from afar create a giant mural depicting the Madonna, a sultan and other figures. Up close, you see the detail of the decorative eggs and loose the people...gorgeous. Gondolas, water buses, and taxis. Best friggin pasta (here's to walking enough to counter balance the carbs I'll be consuming!) The clock in San Marco's square has moving bronze statues of men who ring the bell....very cool, but frankly, also a bit creepy: big giant green bronze statue that moves, made in the 1500's..yowsers, no animatronics in those! There are 3 palaces (that I've found to date) in San Macros square. I could use the space normally given to a day on the trip just to describe the square, there really is THAT much to see, and yes, it's all gorgeous...pretty sure mom may have filled a gig picture drive today. The purses...well (so far!) we bought 4, in our defense 2 are for other people =]. And we've yet to do more than drool at the other leather wear (shoes, gloves, jackets...) likely a good thing we got here on a Sunday...window shopping was a bit less of a wallet drain, lots of the shops were closed...tomorrow, I smell tr-ou-ble! you need to look in every direction,(up, down, right, left) or you're likely to miss some gorgeous detail. From a dragon light fixture, to a mosaic, or a statue covered in gold. The buildings here are really weather worn, bits of stucco missing and the brick showing through, honestly looks like something we pay for in the states....here it's just happened naturally with time. Given the grander here, and the bits left over from the Greeks, Romans, and Turks....I now have a better appreciation, and sense of awe at how gorgeous the ruins of those times must have been when they were standing....it's mesmerizing. Before it sinks (no really it's a "modern" Atlantis) add it to the must see list. Words fail to describe.
Quotes:
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”-Ashley Smith
“You are the center of your universe, and you can make anything happen.”- Ashley Smith
“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it” - Confucius

Slept in today...

Well if you can call getting home at 6am and sleeping till 11am "sleeping in" have breakfast with mom and Ilker...gotta admit glad to have met and made friends with a tour guide, and he's got a day off today...luckiest gal ever! He took us to the cistern which was in the movie "To Russia With Love" side note, adding this to the movies to see list...along with Gallipoli. There are coi swimming around. The columns were brought by the Romans, and were "left overs" so they're a bit of a hodgepodge. Some Ionic, some Hellenistic a few Corinthian. Though the tunnels are a labyrinth beneath the city, the majority of them were walled off. Why? because people are nuts, and felt they needed to swim in the area where the movie was made. There are 2 medusa heads used as pillar bases. One is sideways, the other upside down...which has left plenty of room for speculation, from the pillar was too tall (sideways) to medusa normally looks over a building to protect it and this was underground, so she needed to be upside down to do her job...in the end, no one really knows. After the cistern, mom and I head out to the spice market to pick up a few things (rose oil and saffron) then off to the baths! The one we visit is the oldest in Istanbul. (çemberlitas hamami, built in 1584)  http://www.cemberlitashamami.com.tr/ It's segregated (men and women) and there are multiple options as far as services go, from self service, traditional to multiple add ons. We went with traditional plus a massage. Mine was pretty basic, mom on the other hand got a lady who scrubbed her footies, face, shoulders...she started before me and finished a full 5 minutes after. Happy birthday to her! Had a turkish tea and relaxed a bit before leaving, this a must do for the full experience of a bath...really feel the modern day spa was born of the baths of ancient times. Something that bemused me, the Turks stopped drinking coffee for the same reason Americans started, politics and money. The sultan decided too much money was going to the import of coffee, since the area was better suited to tea, Turkish tea was born! (Boston tea party, conversion to coffee) We were both pretty tired and have an early flight tomorrow, so grabbed a kebab and headed to bed. Tomorrow, Venice!
Quotes:
"God acts in history: that is, God provides ideas, methods, and experiences intended to bring comprehension to man, an understanding heart, a conscious life."- Jacob Needleman  

Today was a whirlwind of epic proportions

Was a bit better prepared for the full burka barrage known in other realms as a "tourist bus" had on capris and a shirt with short sleeves, so think I downgraded from whore of Babylon to slut in training...can someone please explain to me why, when, and how one gender deemed itself more human and somehow more important than the other? What a frigging crock of crap, and yet there are many who still eat from the dung pile with pride...from both genders....we aren't even to the subject of skin tone yet. Last I checked every Holy book out there took judgment out of human hands..ummm, stillllllll waiting. Odd to me, to see the bond shared by the pain of the war, yet  judgment and sheer disgusted loathing still pervades toward all women....the modernization of the world as a whole, is noticeable in the younger generations...on the coastal cities anyway. Made me very grateful to be born an American woman. Back to the bus...we went to: (more on each after) the blue mosque, Hagia Sophia (Ayasofya) the hippodrome, lunch, little haga Sophia, the grand bazaar and the palace of Topkapi (and that's the official part of the day, oh yes, there is more) you could spend a day plus at either the bazar or palace alone. Istanbul is an amazing city, full of history. Would strongly advise women to travel with others. Now a bit about the things we saw. The blue mosque was built by Sultan Ahmet I to outshine the Hagia Sophia. The word for gold (altin) and six (alti) are similar in the Turkish language, so instead of getting gold minarets (call to prayer tower) he got 6 towers that matched the mosque. Thankfully the sultan was pleased and the builder (unlike his predecessor) kept his head. The name derives from the +20,000 ceramic tiles that decorate the interior. Blue gold and white in color. All mosques are "mini communities" of sorts, having a kitchen to feed the needy, a school, a shopping area (to support the kitchen/school) and a burial ground. Sultan Ahmet and his family, are on the grounds of the blue mosque. Across the way is the Hagia Sophia, meaning  "Holy Wisdom" in Greek (Aya Sofya in Turkish) was built by Justinian the Great in the Byzantine era to establish (then Constantinople) as the most powerful city, and he as the richest most powerful leader. (sounds a bit familiar, eh?) he was successful. The dome and church remained the largest until St. Peter's basilica was built in Rome (the Vatican) anyone want to lay bets that St. Peter's was built to: a) prove the center of Christianity was now in Rome, and b) double bonus points if it was built smack over and with bits of a temple to Apollo...but sure, religion has nothing to do with politics...right. (King Henry VIII: divorce, Episcopalians...puritans scandalized, America created...) anywho, I'll have the answer (if you're not interested in using the google finger, as the Vatican tickets have been purchased) when the Koran became the holy book oh choice for Turkey, the Sophia was converted to a mosque...least they didn't fully demolish it... I guess. The frescos, statues, and mosaics (many of them blinged out in gold) were covered up, destroyed, or, to put it kindly "repurposed." To end the bickering between the religions, it's now a museum....wonder if this strategy would work with the holy land? Make it like DC, an independent area belonging to no one and everyone...yeah right, who am I kidding, first let's get to a place where boobs are equal to balls. Out the door from the Sophia is the hippodrome coming from the Greek: hippos=horse dromos=path or way (modeled after Circus Maximus in Roma) this was the meeting place of the city, beheadings, horse racing, politics...all at the hippodrome. From here we had a yumalicious Turkish lunch. (salad, humus, kebab, watermelon, and coffee) we then visited the little Hagia Sophia, built as a prototype for the larger building and converted to a mosque that's still in use today. Grand Bazar time....for my haggling friends, this is your dream come true. Much like the Vatican, the bazar operates as it's own entity (minus the status of self governing) there are 27 gates, a police force, mosque, post office, and every trinket you can dream of...I was overwhelmed, my shopping gene still lays dormant. From here we went to the palace of Topkapi, was a bit disconcerting, armed with machine guns guards were everywhere. Sigh of relief when we were told this was due to a large portion of the treasury (including an 86karat diamond, yes, really...and it was once a ring...no I'm not clear on how that worked either..) the place is HUGE, gorgeous, amazing. Each gate becomes more private, once past the 3rd gate as this is where issues of the empire were discussed to work there you must be a mute...if you weren't, and wanted the "privilege" well, let's just say "wish granted" all sultans had to know sign language to communicate with servants. There's much more to describe, and I've not even gotten to our evening, so should you want to know more (you do, I promise) link below! From here, mom and I walked back to the hotel...no CLUE we we were so central, thank you Mamko! Met up with our tour guide Ilker for an amazing dinner. Walked around the new city...they had up Christmas lights, color me amused. Went to a hubbly bubbly bar under the bridge, oh yes, mumsie partook as well! Then off to club reina, gorgeous, on the water, views of the straight and a bridge, no roof. Home as the sun came up.
http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/go/Istanbul/Sights/index.html

Quotes:
"We may have different religions, different languages, different colored skin, but we all belong to one human race." -Kofi Annan
"The connection between women's human rights, gender equality, socioeconomic development and peace is increasingly apparent." -Mahnaz Afkhami 
"The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside, but in councils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship, the ideal union between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race."- Susan B. Anthony 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Istanbul, day one: aka June 16

Happy birthday part 2 to mom, she feels since it's still the 15th in California, that means she gets a second birthday...fine by me, id be happy to just get one. Why we keep doing this to ourselves = beyond me....got in past midnight, and it's now 8am, and we're on our way to cruise up the Boospherous, not sure exactly what this will consist of, so I've got my bikini on under my shorts and tank. Get on the bus with the other passengers....and find myself face to face with my first full fledged burka....awesome, not that they didn't think I was a sinning skin showing slut who's headed to hell before...now I'm in shorts and a bikini. Goodie me. Gotta admit, really didn't think a tourist bus would be the first time I ran into a burka (technically there were 3) anyway through a 1/2 sleep haze we're told we're going to the spice market first, then to the boat. Spice market is super cool, and a must see/do for anyone who visits Istanbul. The prices are set here, no haggling...however, this isn't to say one vendor won't have a better price than another. So be sure to check a few shops before you commit. There's also essential oils, lokum (Turkish delight) and it's made with honey, not sugar or  corn syrup like the pre made boxed stuff. They have Turkish saffron for £3 for a huge bag...which gets you in the shop, once you're in, they pull out the good stuff, Spanish, Lebanese, Istanbul...it costs more, but compared to what one pays in the US, it's still very cheap, (I paid roughly $40 for 3oz) and it's so pretty! Beautiful deep red color, great smell. They have huge bins full of every spice and tea you can imagine. The market has been around since 1660, called the Egyptian spice market as this was the meeting place for the spice/silk road...and if you close your eyes, you can almost imagine what it must have been in those days....on the outer edge, a vendor still had medicinal leeches for sale. (yes really). We headed over to the boat, and it began to POUR...ugh bummer, and guess my bathing suit was a non needed item. (boat had a covered portion, and the rain dissipated about 5 minutes after it started) There are palaces on both sides of the bosphorus, and you can really see the influence of the Asian vs European architecture. I've now seen not only a different country while standing on the shore of another (Greece to Turkey) now, I've seen another continent from the shore of another (Asia to Europe). Pretty frigging cool...and now, time for a nap.       

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The world through another's eyes..and happy birthday to mom!

It takes 13 hours to get to Turkey (if you fly direct) and I've heard many times "wow that's really far" and being an American is rather an anomaly here..yet it takes an Aussie, or a Kiwi over 20 hours to get here, and there are no direct flights. We've met a ton of them, and no one seems to think it odd they flew all this way to spend a brief time here in . I now know why. The Anzac campaign of 1915 world war one. It lasted eight months and cost 500,000 lives. That is half a million people dead, an entire graduating class of the largest university in Istanbul gone before many of them would have even been old enough to drive today. I'd heard of Brighton beach, I had no idea it was off the coast of Turkey. Th soldiers were supposed to have landed here, but missed. This and many other small "what if's" and "if only's" led to a fruitless battle where the Turks were determined to keep their homeland, and the Allied forces, just wouldn't quit. One solider wrote: "I saw a Turk today, he looks just as human as I, why are we killing them?" they traded cigarette papers for tobacco,  shared water and food, clapped to each others songs by night, and got to the business of shooting each other by day. The trenches were close enough to each other you could easily carry on a conversation, and could even tell by the inflection of the voices if something (an attack) was immanent. This was a battle that has shaped the history of Australia, Turkey, and New Zealand, and was something I had no clue of until today. To see the pain of another countries history, something that has colored the view of their world, yet to be so removed from it...is a very sobering experience. I felt almost like a gawker going by a tragedy on a freeway. Both sides lost so much, and gained nothing..at least nothing at that time. Now through this common pain, the nations have formed a bond, and though they were on opposite sides of the battle lines, the pain is mutual. The sadness shared, and the determination to remember the insanity, the brutality and absurd loss that is war is a lesson all who travel here carry with them. The reality of the pages in the history books becomes a real experience that remains part of your soul. Something you remember forever. Bit of a heavy day for moms birthday! We did have a bit of raki to celebrate. And now, off to Istanbul! And we've been bus-wacked. Farfegnugen. Plus side, we're only going 1 way, everyone else did Istanbul, and back. This is a rather common phenomenon here, somehow the bus driver knows who's going where, who's not coming back, and where we're dropping one person off or picking another up. Sometimes a tourist, other times a local...if you're headed the right direction, people catch a ride! Nother plus, it's a tour bus (no pit stench!) down side...5 hours till we arrive. Blogging time!
Quotes:
"We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace." -William Gladstone
"When my heart is at peace, the world is at peace." -Chinese Proverb
"There never was a good war or bad peace." -Benjamin Franklin
"Peace is always beautiful." -Walt Whitman
"It is no longer good enough to cry peace, we must act peace, live peace, and live in peace." -Shenandoah proverb
Info on Gallipoli campaign:
http://www.nzhistory.net.nz/war/the-gallipoli-campaign/introduction
http://www.firstworldwar.com/battles/overview_gf.htm
And there's a movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082432/ (starring Mel Gibson)

The place of legend! 

So friggin excited!!! Before we get to Troy...a bit about the travel to get here. As previously mentioned, We were caught in a bit of a rain storm yesterday (people must really think I'm a loon, as I was laughing jubilantly at the whole affair) saw a couple of girls on a mo-ped, the one on the back was holding the umbrella open, awesome....but priceless goes to the guy speed walking down the street with a hand clutched desperately over his breast pocket to protect his ciggys...no hat mind you and he was getting soaked, but he could smoke! (when he got where he was going I presume) the day started out quite lovely, so as we were headed to the bathes, and then to shop, I was wearing shorts, a shirt, and had my sweatshirt in my smaller backpack for the plane...I had originally intended to change into my capris prior to getting to the airport...however, though I found the rain fun(ny) to watch, had about 0 intention of walking the 15 minutes (each way) up the hill and back to get my change of clothes...yeah, traveling inland in a Muslim country in shorts (in high sing song voice again) awwwkkkward. And not high on my "recommended" list. Plus, it's cold, planes are always cold, and these were no exception. Nothing too dramatic, just a few more intense (I refer to them as "whore of babylon") stares than normal..and believe me, being stared at, picked up on, and borderline harassed, is par for the course. (and men wonder why women are bitchy: you passed complimentary, and into obnoxious about 70 fuckin' "no thank you's" earlier) travel tip numero UNO: get yourself a wedding band, or a burka, or both. The no flights out of Chanakkale until 2 days post when we intend to leave is all coming together now, as is the no direct flight (getting here started with a car ride at 6pm, and we got to the hotel past midnight.) this airport qualifies as one of the smallest I've ever seen, (perspective, I've been my share of municple airports) Another early morning, thankfully though the tour's done by noon(ish). Sadly, Troy was discovered by a treasure hunter, not an archeologist, so the majority of what was discovered was knocked down, dug out and pillaged, and as of WWII, the jewelry etc, is now in Russia (and they refuse to date to return it, lame) there are actually 9 versions of Troy, the one of Homers poem (the horse, Achilles, Helen etc) is believed to be that of 6 &7. Six is of the correct time period, has a well thought out city pan, and seems to have dwellings outside the city walls. 7, is a hodgepodge and everyone is now in the city walls. Lots of very large amphora (clay storage containers) are found in the floors of this city, as if the residents were prepared for (or going through) a siege. The area's prone to earthquakes, hence the multiple cities built on each other. Every 100 years or so, an earthquake decimates the area. It's abandoned (sometimes the inhabitants die during the quake. The buildings are covered by soil...and then a new group decides to build again (long pauses between city building here, we're talking hills covering the previous dwellings...not always the case as some of the walls are built atop the prior foundation, but in many cases, 100s of years passed between 1 city being built to the next.  So many years and cities in fact, that the area is now a hill. It was once a harbor town. The water has receded, the earth is still very furtive, and the river described in Homers poems are still of the same name and flowing as described. Though the story of Helen sounds romantic,  let's face it...this thing went on for a decade...I'm sure a dudes attention would have been dissuaded in this time. As are all wars, this was about power and position. Troy was in a veer strategical point of the Dardanelles, and as during this time period, sailors needed to wait for the right winds, he who controlled the area, controlled the money. So the Turks had it, and the Greeks wanted it...(sounds a bit familiar,hey?) according to the archeologists who now are exploring the cite, there's easily 125 years worth of excavations to be done....hopefully we take care of ourselves and the planet long enough to get to it all...in the mean time, the actual horse remains a mystery. No one is really sure if it was created as a battering ram, a device to trick the Turks (as described) some other type of war tool, or is simply a thing of myth and legend. We do know, the city itself was very real. The walls were in fact very decorative, and it seems the war did happen. The rest....
Quotes:
"Time! the corrector when our judgments err."  ~Lord Byron
"Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."  ~Carl Sandburg
"Time is a figure eight, at its center the city of Deja Vu."  ~Robert Brault

Turkish bath!!! And, umm that was hail..

Because the trek to Pumakkale was a 12 hour endeavor, we opted to stay another night in Kusadasi, and head up to Canakkale (where Troy is) on Tuesday. Ate breakfast, showered, packed, put our bags downstairs and headed toward he center to see Mamko the travel agent from Tayf tours  (www.tayftours.com)who (in our opinion) totally rocks! They've got offices in Athens, Istanbul, Canada and the US, and he listens to what you're asking for, and his prices were equal to what I was finding on booking.com and such...minus all the work (umm YAY!) much rather give a live person a booking fee than some faceless nameless corporation. We got our tickets for our flight, gave him a few more things to look into and were off to experience our first (oh yes e will be more!) Turkish bath. Side rant, okay here people, you have about a millennia on us dumb ass europeans who seemed to think not bathing was some type of badge of honor (I'm so healthy I only needed one bath -nasty! Also why there were June weddings, that was the bathing month...) would a little deode-eo really hurt so damn bad today? And since it seems to, kindly keep your arm pit out of my face...again, thank you ferry system, don't think the bus system, winding roads, and au du heat wave would have made for a fun combo...anywho...back to the baths! The place is gorgeous. The reception area has a little fountain and some benches around it. (there's also a tv in the corner to remind you this is still the 20th century) you check in and can opt to purchase some upgrades (a mud mask, and/or oil massage) mud mask was needed for me (sunscreen + heat + hormones = breakout, boo) but wasn't anything special, so unless your face is an unruly mess, it can be skipped. The oil massage on the other hand, go for the longest one they offer, umm AWESOME (said in frilly sing song voice) after check in you get a locker key, head upstairs and change into your bathing suit (this was a coed bath) come back downstairs go through the reception area, a second waiting room, and on into the wash area. There's a huge tiled slab here. It's a huge hexagon that's heated from the center out. You lay on it (along with the others) and sweat. Around the edge of the room there is a ledge for sitting with faucets and basins placed about 2 body widths apart. If you get too hot, or want to sweat more, you go to a basin, dip the bowl in the water and pour it on yourself. Around 15 minutes after you arrive, the guys who work there come in and start splashing everyone with water. To prevent the water from getting in my eyes, I had them closed...which led to me getting a nice cold bowl full dumped on my belly. (squeak!) one by one each person is asked to sit up (there are 2 different guys doing this station) and you get loofaed.  (I was asked if this was my first time bathing as I had a LOT of dry skin, hee hee) from here you go to get your soap massage. The guy takes what looks like a pillow case out of the water blows air into it, and then squeezes from the top down, and wahla, your soaped up! Your massaged with a wash cloth, then asked to flip over...by this time I was so slippery, he slid me 1/2 way across the platform (the platform is easily 4.5 meters) fro here they direct you to one of the basins (not yet in use) and wash you off. You stay there and continue to cool down, and can splash yourself as much as you'd like while you wait. In groups of about 4 you then head out to the 2nd waiting area you passed through on the way in. Your wrapped in a sarong, and the towel is fanned around your shoulders before being wrapped. Ougb it didn't feel cool on your way into e bath...the anti room, now feels chilly, nice, not too cold, but a definite downgrade in temperature. After cooling off a bit more back to the main waiting area, a cup of tea, and then massage time! And it is melt on the table, can I please pay for more time awesome. Mom was a bit oily after...my skin was so dry it soaked all the oil up. Travel funk be gone! Too bad I'm still in the same clothes, oh well. We head back to the center, grab some lunch, and were going to do a bit of shopping as well as look for a place to mail out the postcards. Mother nature had other plans. The outside cafe ended up huddled under a few umbrellas while the main road turned to an impromptu river..and it HAILED, only for about 20 seconds, but still!! (you're welcome California, yes the weather here went nuts too...for a few hours) so, instead of shopping, made friends with the waiter and a German gentleman who is in real estate. Had an early birthday cake for mom, and headed to the airport. Tomorrow: Troy! (yes, "that one" that Hollywood had staring Brad Pitt...the Iliad and Odyssey: Troy) doesn't get much more legendary than this! So amazing. Yay
Quotes: "Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence." -Buddha
"In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true." -Buddha
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -William Wallace 
"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." -Jean-Paul Sartre   

I have seen where the end was written, and now know where to get to Hades- beware!

But first, let's back up a bit... Recall how I mentioned when someone tells you "it can't be done" say thank you so much, and ask someone else? Case in point. Today is election day (yep on a Sunday, weird to an American view point) our hotel told us they called 4 travel companies and no one was going to Pumakkale today...we walked to the center and went to the one I had seen the previous night, (yes it was open at 10pm) 1 phone call later, and we were set, nice. Headed into the shopping district of old town, again, everything was open...clubs, restaurants, stores, even the stylists..and this is the part where we were side tracked. Before leaving San Francisco I was a bit busy packing up my room, getting all the paperwork, travel supplies, and loose ends tied up...so my hair, was left off the "done list" and when my hair gets long, it's heavy, and gives me headaches...especially in the heat when it's in a pony tail. Add to this the lack of conditioner, (not a single bottle or pump to be had to date ladies, add it to the travel should have list) sooo....needless to say the straw that was 3/4 down my back was in desperate need of help. One shampoo, a deep condition, some color and a much needed cut later, and I'm a new gal! Thank you Turkey!!! I know of no other place where you can drink wine with your stylist in the salon while getting your hair done until 1:15am...do you? Before we went to the springs we walked through some of the ruins of the ancient city. Huge Roman amphitheater apparently one can tell if it's Greek or Roman based on the shape, horseshoe = Roman, 1/2 circle = Greek...dont ask me to tell ya he difference between a 1/2 circle and a horseshoe, because...uhh...to date (that's 7+ amphitheaters peeps..)yeah, lost on me: column differences on the other hand, totally your girl! From here we walked to where the temple of Apollo was, and the gate to Hades(which have both been knocked down, Apollo in the name of Christianity, Hades in the name of a gate to the underworld..well we can see where that could be misused.)  Pumukkale needs to be added to the bucket list y'all. Its breathtaking and like no other place I've ever seen. The upper third of the mountain is covered in calcium, from a distance it looks like snow, or spun cotton. Hence the name, Pumukkale translates to cotton castle, and the area has bee used since antiquity to treat wool (makes it super soft) and every aliment known to man...today it still boasts it'll cure (pretty much everything) that ails ya! The pools are blue by day (pink at sunrise/set) and though they look rather deep, at most, you're up to your knees. The pools are shaped like the shelf mushrooms you see in the forest on dying trees...when you take a moment to reflect tthe travertine has been here and used pre 2nd century BC, how special this place is...it really is beyond words. You aren't allowed to wear shoes on the pools...and surprisingly, the formations (even at noon in 27 degree heat) are still very cool to the touch (think of drying potters clay, same type of feel) the springs claim to fix everything from stress to blood pressure to weight issues to...basically you name it. By the end of this trip (we're at natural hot spring #3 for me) I expect to look the same as I did at 16 from my hair to my skin to my pants size, and I'm guessing I'll be healthy for minimally the next 5+ years (hee hee). The government now controls the water flow so only portions of the pools are opened on any given day. Without the flow control the water would become red or brown (some would remain blue) depending upon the amounts of minerals, and flow direction/volume. Despite the hand of man, this place takes your breath away and soaking in the pools, though I can't speak to the other claims, is surely relaxing...and standing under the water falls to rinse off the bluish green clay, is fun too ;). (think of a mud mask, but au natural!)
Pamukkale info: http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/485
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/turkey/hierapolis-pamukkale
Quotes: "Life is a magnificent manifestation where if we honour Sacred Mother Earth, rivers of love will flow freely. New levels of spiritual awareness are upon us and by recognizing their beauty we can inspire every aspect of our lives. Let your soul be an oasis of transformation that takes your life to the next level and fulfills your dreams. Rejoice in your awakening, the future is now and love is in every breath you take." -Micheal Teal
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." -Dalai Lama
"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities." -Maya Angelou 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

#3 for me!

Yup the third of seven ancient world wonders on the "to do" list for today. Got a bus to Ephesus. £5.00...and the buses here, they're what we call shuttles in the city. The Turks would likely be appalled by the muni busses in SF. Before you get into the archeological site, there are shops and a few eateries, and (to date) my favorite shop sign/motto: (ya ready? It's awesome promise!) "Genuine Fake Watches!" I nearly fell over laughing...made mom find it for herself, (way too fun to spoil it by pointing it out!) oh yes, pictures were taken! Walked around for about 4 hours, saw 2 amphitheaters, one for games and plays the other (smaller) for government business, (speeches and the like) and concerts. This was a huge port city. The most famous ruin is the library...makes the SF main library look like plain Jane. The library was constructed well after the city was built, and was given what little space was left in the city walls. To make up for it's size, the architect used grander, the two story structures facade is still amazingly gorgeous. Marble, 8 statues, the columns and stairs are set in a way to trick the eye into believing the space is much larger than it really was. There's the remains of a public latrine, a bath house, some homes, terrace houses, the umm oldest female profession area (look it up if you're unaware) a gate of Zeus that was created to be small enough that no chariots could come through. Some temples dedicated to various emperors. On to Artemis procession way (woo who must be getting close to Artemis' temple), more shops (stoa)...and we're at another paid entrance. (be tee dub, ya can get the genuine fake watch at this entrance too- I know you had to be concerned about this!) Frick...how on earth did we miss the biggest temple of Ephesus?!? Whatever, I'm hungry and about to get nasty about it...(did I mention it's frigging humid and H-O-T...with an occasional breeze) ask the guard, (repeatedly) may we go eat and come back in? "Yes, go ahead." oh yay! After a leisurely (70+) minute lunch, I go say hello to a shop keepers puppy, to discooovvveerr. Artemis' temple...yeah it's not in the Ephesus archeological site....umm alrighty then. So happy I asked!!! I'm in Kusadasi specifically to see said world wonder...no the tiny "dedicated to" from such and such family on the procession row wasn't what we were looking for, (nice try mumsicle) get back to the gate, and cause a bit of a hullabaloo...am shown the fine print that states (basically) no in and outs...yeah dude, thanks for the reading lesson..this was why I asked, 3 times if eating was okay...you said yes...and since when does going to some type of monument/park etc have a no reentry rule?!? Good grief. Said my oops sorries, and with £20 (each) still in my pocket, an empty bladder and a refueled system, headed the kilometer+ back to the other gate, grabbed a cab, and off to the temple of Artemis... Zee temple of Artemis (no entry fee) is now mostly under a lake. There's one pillar left but not much else,(lots of cute baby turtles though, and geese and there's a stork nest on the top of the last standing pillar)  the grounds are HUGE, this would have given a Vegas hotel property a run for who's bigger. Though this was officially part of ancient Ephesus, I'm glad we cabbed it...(about the same as walking from the outer Mission to the Marina in SF, hills included, add heat) walked into Selçuk, went by a mosque, saw (another) castle of St. John (spelled Jean here) opted "no" on the entry fee for this one...(castle #4 for us, no offense but it's nearly 5, and we started around 10ish) got directions from the guy working at the castle door (4 points to Turkey, none of the "just go straight") get back to the bus and head back to Kusadasi. Gorgeous sunset, walk to the center for dinner (we're sidetracked, more about that on the next post) get home around 1:30am, and off to sleep. We're headed to Pumakkale at 8am!!,
More info on Ephesus: http://www.ephesus.us/ephesus/ephesus_history.htm
Temple of Artemis: http://www.sacred-destinations.com/turkey/ephesus-temple-of-artemis
Quotes:  
"Every exit is an entry somewhere.” -Tom Stoppard
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

2 islands, 2 ferries, 2 countries, 1 day:

Mom got a ride on the scooter (third scooter ride for her!!! Way to go mumsie!) to the ferry terminal, I opted to walk. (and was there about 20 seconds after they arrived, granted I had about a minute head start) the El Greco is a great little hotel (more like an apartment) there's a washer (sadly we weren't here long enough to have our clothes dry) a microwave, toaster oven, coffee maker, and a ceiling fan...I've been rather surprised by the lack of ceiling fans here...one would think a fan would cut back on electricity bills...yet, this is the first place we've stayed (honestly likely the 5th ceiling fan in total) that we've seen. There's a great roof deck with a view of the majority of the island (blocked by a rock on a small section). Patmos, though it's visited by a few cruise ships, is a bit more off the tourist track, and therefore very charming. The owner of the Greco is a history major, and has been a guide for years. His father is from Dallas, his mom, Greece. Ladies, be sure to wear your wedding band...even if you're single. Trust me on this. I'm honestly contemplating a burka. (no really I am) too bad they don't come in pretty colors, and you can't tan through the damn things...not to mention you'd roast...still, ownership and wearing is on the strong maybe list. Ferry ride was rather long...mostly because the benches weren't anywhere as comfortable as the seats on the blue line. Flip side, I was in the sun AND saw dolphins!!! So frigging awesome! And we saw 2 sets, or the same pod twice, not sure, still amazing. Yay! Landed in Samos, got a cab to the other side of the island (where the ferry for Kusadasi leaves) left our bags at the booking agent office. (they offer storage for backpackers-sweet!) walked down the waterfront, WAY more fish here than we've seen the whole trip (including the dead stuff floating in Rhodes) and these little fishies were alive and well, different sizes, shapes and colors...too bad there's no time for a dive. Ate at a cafe with free WiFi, and booked our hotel in Turkey. Water was rather choppy and the ferry gave a new definition to s-l-o-w....pretty sure we drifted out of the harbor. A few hours later, and some unexplained zig zags to cross the short distance from Samos, and we're back in Turkey. Got to our hotel in time to watch a beautiful sunset from our 4th floor balcony, nice. Went down to the center had some shish for dinner, was pretty good...but pretty sure it wasn't what I ordered (lamb chops) sometimes that happens. (for those who don't know the "sometimes that happens" story, ask...it's a darn good giggle!)
 “I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within.” – Lillian Smith
 “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu